Customs & a Bachelor Party

So this post is old, but it was half written on my treo.
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Last weekend I headed up to our big brother in the north, Canada. Josh J is getting married pretty soon. I think he's getting married in the Hersey Canal, I'm serious, Hersey Park, PA. I'm sure they must have a canal somewhere around there.

The party was up in Montreal, where strip clubs out number starbucks, (impressive feat). I had to miss Friday night's activities because it was my niece's bday on Saturday. Friday night, a bunch of ppl from the blogosphere got together.


Saturday was the niece's 3rd bday, I got her a rockin' pink gee-tar. She had a castle bounce, it looked like a lot of fun, but i knew i would take out too many kids if i went in.


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So Montreal -
I missed Friday night and Saturday day, which I'm a little bummed about cause it sounds like everybody had a lot of fun. I really bummed about missing Peel's Pub. If you've every been to Montreal, you know how much of a staple Peel's pub is. I have many non-memories of that place - just stories people tell me the next morning - mostly due to the fact that you can buy Long Island Ice-teas (LITs) by the pitcher at Peel's.

I was delayed at the airport due to weather in nyc, then customs in montreal, but more on that later. I made it in kinda late (~10pm?) cause I tried walking from the bus station which was a bad idea. So our first stop was Club Super Sex, another staple of Montreal. From there we went on to have a fun night, I'll leave it at that since it's a bachelor party. But two things I do recall - 1, jumping up and down on a hotel bed only to smash my head into the ceiling. I saw a bright flash and fell hard down to the bed, it didn't feel quite so good. 2, eating sausage poutine. I love poutine for two reasons, one because it's fun to say (try saying it outloud) and two because it tastes so damn good. We also ordered 'cold tea' which is chinese for beer. They serve it to you in the chinese hot tea kettle with the porcelin cups. Very ghetto, but fun afterhours.


Sunday morning we ate at a resturant called eggspectaitons. I was thinking it would be like smut-and-eggs, but it was an upstanding resturant (my disapointment) but it had really great breakfast plates (my happiness.)



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Customs - (my ordeal though Canadian customs, typed in a breif on my Treo)




For some reason telling customs that you're in Canada to 'party down' in Montreal for only 1 night gets u flagged for 'special inspection.'

Ohh canada, what kind of big brother are you that u feel the need to throulghy search ur brother from the south. Do u not trust me?

I'm just hear for ur cheap boooze and professional women. There's nothing 'sketchy' about that!

I think the female security guard was just itching to rub my boxers down with that bomb residue cloth. I can't argue that, I did enjoy watching it.

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Which gets me going on this whole customs thing. Do we really need it for trusted countries? Imagine we had an asinine process like this for intrastate travel? It would be so inefficient. We're a global world, the world is flat, let's drop this bouncer policy. I hated having to where nice shoes in bostón to get into bars and I don't like the idea of lying to customs to make my entry easier. If anything, this search has taught me to lie. Don't say ur leaving tommorow, say u r staying for a week, although my lack of luggage would be questionable.

Fuck you Candian customs! Thanks for steeling an hour of my drinking and boobie time! That's like 20% of my boozing time!